*coughs quietly* (10.30.17)

Someone turned on the rewind and reflect button in my brain. This is the only reason I can think I'm up at three in the morning when I have work at eight tomorrow. In a way I can't remember since high school, I have become overcome with the desire to look critically at key points and decipher the changes. I'm sure it's the birthday possibly meeting with my trauma for the umpteenth time.

Oh well!

A Look Back:

Name: Hunter
Age:18
Hair color: green
Number of tattoos: almost 1
Love life: Kinda dating maybe?
Job: Professional Kid Companion

I had just graduated high school, I had just quit my part time job at Old Navy to pursue school. I later realized gas and books cost money, so I started babysitting for coin. I also had just gotten my first tattoo, chopped all my hair off, and gotten my first boyfriend. I was so scared and excited for the future. The later it got into the year the more I realized school was hard for me. I didn't come by it easy, and my mental health was suffering. It was also around this time I started birth control, and my monthly menstrual cycle went from seven days of hell to four days of mild discomfort. This was also my first interaction with making doctors appointments.

Name: Hunter
Age: 19
Hair color: silver
Number of tattoos: 3
Love life: Tumultuously in love
Job: Sometimes bookseller

Figuring out school wasn't going to work, I flunked out of one of my only semesters of school. Hands down this is the most shameful thing I've done. I felt like I wasn't good enough and that I was a loser and a failure. That started to show more at home, and in my budding relationship. I learned you can't be insecure of yourself if you're going to love someone else, and gods do I love him. I also learned that no matter what I want, sometimes friendships just don't work. It made me appreciate the friends I have even more. I had just picked up a part time seasonal cashiering job with the bookstore I had wanted to work in since I was eight. All while I spent a week crashing at peoples houses and sleeping in my car. I gained a better understanding of the work behind love, and I lost a chunk of my bumper. I got a promotion and soon realized how much work being a 'grown up' was going to take. My mental health took another dive, but I had a great support system to fall into. I lost family, in so many different ways. I held onto so many stupid grudges that I wish I could have let go of sooner.

Name: Hunter (sometimes sister, and sometimes Bunny)
Age: 20
Hair color: Faded pinky-red
Number of tattoos: TBA
Love life: Happy and counting
Job: Head Cashier, Author

I now dive into the unknown again. Two years feels much larger in my head. I go back to poems and stories and journal entries from this time, and it's like reading in a different persons voice. I was jaded and I absolutely thought I knew everything. I was incorrect, I hardly know anything. While life at twenty is very different from what I had imagined, I'm excited to see what it brings. Who knows, maybe I'll have some life changing revelation. Maybe my book will hit the NYT bestsellers list immediately! Or maybe I'll have worked my way up the book selling chain.

All I know is that I'm wishing you and myself best wishes.

..// Jukebox \\..

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